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#51 |
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 530
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Quote:
I, the almighty Shin Densetsu, able to grab rocks and turn them into dust by mere clench of the fist, have been victimized.
So I was driving down the street. Pull down my shades, wipe some dirt off my shoulder, noticed toys r us was nearby. The giraffe, a symbol of hopelessness jn the face of trying to buy anything new, could not be overlooked. It gazes at us, never flinching, daring us to walk in and attempt to buy new swag. In order to further boost my already monumentally huge ego and persona, I walked in, unafraid to face the challenge. As I make a rough draft of my internal monologue, I figured the following would suffice: "You're going down Geoffrey the giraffe. Giraffe? More like rif raffe. HMPHHH!" The glimmering reflections of gift wrap had me reminiscing of days gone by. The days of getting a new toy unearthed from the packaging. It's like the werther's original commercials. As I toss my rose tinted glasses to the side, I go to the Transformers aisle. Warpath wave? Who am I kidding. No I didn't find it. Showing that I, the almighty Shin Densetsu, too, feel the pain of you mortals. So I go check marvel section. New legends 2 packs? Ya right. Human torch and invisible woman. This set might as well be invisible, no one wanted it. Wait. Horned hair. Claws. Silver bad assery... I had found the patch vs silver samurai pack. It rang up as $15+. Bought. This story, like many 80's teenage drama movies, ought to have a happy ending. BULLSHIT First, the comic. Awesome vintage artwork. Open it up. The fuck? Loki must be at Hasbro for I have been rick rolled. Within were interior pages from a wolverine origins comic. Adding a further testicular kick to take the breath of a god, the costume shown within is wolverine's current costume which we have still yet to see in the marvel universe line. Okay to the toys. Wolvy has fists. Good. Claws? Separate, new, and awesome. Face? Okay. Maybe they can reuse this mold as AOA Weapon X. Now the highlight. Silver Samurai. Man this guy is awesome. The new rocker ankles. Reminds me of that first time I bit into cheesecake. The neck joint. A hinge? GTFO. Spots to store his swords. Thigh swi-........ His leg came off. !#$%&*()$%&*(%&* #$%&*( $%&*() this $%&*( of $%&*78, man $%&*() the $%&*() %&*( %&+!!!!!!! Disaster. Before his leg came off I had pulled out the hair drier, tried freeing the thigh. No dice. Shoved in freezer two times. No dice. The thigh was stuck at the swivel, would not turn. Clean break but this is not an easy fix. Comic pack quality has been hit or miss. There was a noticeable difference upon release, I was convinced a different factory was producing them as the quality was so much lower than the single carded figures. First breakages I experienced in this line was from comic pack figures. What sucks was that this was the only set in the store. This is the smallest bullsh*t ive ever seen. "Hi can I have a pair of DC's please?" |
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