[malicemizer]

Hi super random but as someone who just started collecting toys I was wondering how often any of you come across this.

I recently went out on a date and randomly started talking about hobbies. I said I started collecting toys and she freaked out. She said, "wow thats weird, thats what little kids do not adults". I really was shocked at her response. I am at the point in my life (almost 29 years old)where I dont have to explain myself to anyone. If I like collecting toys I will collect toys and whatever else I want. I will not be calling her back but am afraid more women will find it "weird". Maybe it was just her but I hope more women are not as closed minded as her.

What is everyone's experience with this matter?

[Boy Blunder]

Quote:

Originally Posted by malicemizer

Hi super random but as someone who just started collecting toys I was wondering how often any of you come across this.

I recently went out on a date and randomly started talking about hobbies. I said I started collecting toys and she freaked out. She said, "wow thats weird, thats what little kids do not adults". I really was shocked at her response. I am at the point in my life (almost 29 years old)where I dont have to explain myself to anyone. If I like collecting toys I will collect toys and whatever else I want. I will not be calling her back but am afraid more women will find it "weird". Maybe it was just her but I hope more women are not as closed minded as her.

What is everyone's experience with this matter?

Firstly, it's not just women; it only seems that way due to toy collectors of our kind being majority-male. But yeah, it's not a gender thing, it's a mindset thing: it's outside of what those people consider "the norm," which means its something "weird" to them.

In my experience, you just keep going. Never be ashamed of who you are and what your hobbies are (provided they're nothing illegal and/or harmful). If people have a problem with something as simple as toy collecting, the problem is theirs, not yours.

[malicemizer]

Great advice Boy Blunder thank you. I definitely think your right it is a mindset thing

[ProfessorHov]

Yup I agree. There are women who don't mind. My gf actually stops by the toy aisle when she goes shopping to check on rares for me. Just have to find a women whose open minded and respects your hobby there are women out there. Let her how much there is in it lol. Honesty if she doesn't like or looks down upon you just bounce. I really don't see the difference from toys or coins or anything. Never change for anyone never.

[Boy Blunder]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ProfessorHov

Yup I agree. There are women who don't mind. My gf actually stops by the toy aisle when she goes shopping to check on rares for me. Just have to find a women whose open minded and respects your hobby there are women out there. Let her how much there is in it lol. Honesty if she doesn't like or looks down upon you just bounce. I really don't see the difference from toys or coins or anything. Never change for anyone never.

I will say though, getting my wife into collecting has become a dangerous proposal - we're now having to tightly budget ourselves, partially because between our various collections, we're running out of room!

[jestermon]

Yeah, it's never a good idea in a relationship to get forced into doing anything you don't want to do, especially a person you just met.

I think it's ridiculous when guys get told to get rid of their toys or the girl is going to leave, that person is emotionally unstable and isn't being very mature themselves.

On some level the girl usually in these cases must have a large sized inferiority complex that she thinks toys are more important than her, some one like that would never be satisfied with any amount of attention you give them.

Often on these boards this comes up, if the person is asking you to give it up and doesn't like you for you, you need to find someone that won't think it's weird.

Everyone has something they collect or send disposable income on, others have their "toys" just as much as us.

Do you know what some people drop on drinks a night at a club, but that's a socially acceptable money expenditure.

I assume most girls or people that have ad aversion to toys probably had a horrible childhood or have no close emotional ties to anything.

It seems that girl's just don't form long lasting nostalgic feelings to things like guys do with the franchises we grew up with, I know their are exceptions but it seems to be pretty common.

[tlasjr]

Give the thread was titled "collecting toys and girls" I was expecting something much more disturbing.

[Exodus]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tlasjr

Give the thread was titled "collecting toys and girls" I was expecting something much more disturbing.

Haha I was too!
My wife is cool with it, cause she knows they'll eventually go to our son.

[redx24]

unless your out there sucking a dick to pay for toys theres no reason for anyone to question your hobby/collection. anyone that does had best be paying your bills.

[redx24]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jestermon

Yeah, it's never a good idea in a relationship to get forced into doing anything you don't want to do, especially a person you just met.

I think it's ridiculous when guys get told to get rid of their toys or the girl is going to leave, that person is emotionally unstable and isn't being very mature themselves.

On some level the girl usually in these cases must have a large sized inferiority complex that she thinks toys are more important than her, some one like that would never be satisfied with any amount of attention you give them.

Often on these boards this comes up, if the person is asking you to give it up and doesn't like you for you, you need to find someone that won't think it's weird.

Everyone has something they collect or send disposable income on, others have their "toys" just as much as us.

Do you know what some people drop on drinks a night at a club, but that's a socially acceptable money expenditure.

I assume most girls or people that have ad aversion to toys probably had a horrible childhood or have no close emotional ties to anything.

It seems that girl's just don't form long lasting nostalgic feelings to things like guys do with the franchises we grew up with, I know their are exceptions but it seems to be pretty common.

this exactly had a girl that wanted to drop 300 a week on drink but would freak if i bought a 6.99 figure. yea i might buy "kids stuff" but i pay my bills and dont have borrow shit from nobody.

[DarthGzus33]

There are plenty of girls out there who are cool with collecting toys...My wifey thinks its silly but she knows that I like it so she is cool with it...After all, she collects Coach bags and other Handbags which cost way more that most of my stuff...She likes when I sell my stuff too, extra income!!! My collection is a revolving door so she knows what I get today may be out the door tomorrow!!! She has even hooked me up with big things like an AT-AT, Helicarrier, etc. So yes, cool chicks exist...Like ProfessorHov said, Never change for anyone never!!!

[Goldengreg]

I was about writing about my wife as well, but DarthGzus33 was faster! She buys a lot of fashion stuff, I buy a lot of toys... so we're cool.

[brr-icy]

i've met one or two like that, i just dumped their narrow minded asses and went on my way. I'm married now, lol

[Joe Moore]

Honestly, finding a like minded individual may be the way to go. I started collecting while I was dating my (now) wife. I knew she liked retro stuff and so did I, and it became another thing that brought us closer together over the years.

I've seen people get serious with women who aren't into any of the collecting stuff. It never ends well for the collection or the relationship.

[Frank Richards]

Quote:

Originally Posted by malicemizer

Hi super random but as someone who just started collecting toys I was wondering how often any of you come across this.

I recently went out on a date and randomly started talking about hobbies. I said I started collecting toys and she freaked out. She said, "wow thats weird, thats what little kids do not adults". I really was shocked at her response. I am at the point in my life (almost 29 years old)where I dont have to explain myself to anyone. If I like collecting toys I will collect toys and whatever else I want. I will not be calling her back but am afraid more women will find it "weird". Maybe it was just her but I hope more women are not as closed minded as her.

What is everyone's experience with this matter?

Dude, that's awful I hope you have the good fortune to avoid having to deal with girls like that from now on, lol!

I've been lucky so far and have never encountered that type of negative reaction. Frankly, the worst reactions I've ever received are veiled insults and criticisms about "wasting" money, but typically, I find that most girls find this hobby to be very amusing. They may secretly think that it's juvenile, or weird, or whatever, but at least they find something about it to somewhat fascinating. From my experience, they are usually very inquisitive and find information like how much time I spend shopping, the size of my collection, etc... to be entertaining.
I have, however, encountered girls who realized that this hobby is an excellent indicator of disposable income But, most consider it to be fun and quirky

Granted, the novelty of this hobby seems to wear thin quickly once I enter into any sort of relationship. At that point, most girls get sick of the hobby quickly, especially after learning about the time and money involved. I've never had any girls try to "change" me, but at that point they are basically just tolerating my hobby the same way the girlfriend of a huge sports fan has to tolerate that equally obsessive hobby.
Oh yeah, if you know any cute geeky girls, they make GREAT girlfriends! If you've never had a girlfriend who enjoys going to the comic shop, hunting for action figures, going to conventions, etc... all WITH you, you should definitely give it a try!

[Goldengreg]

Regarding this topic, I have a question: does american fans use to date together?
Is it possible to find a girlfriend in Comic-con or places like that?
In France, we have several manga/comics events where we have places for people to meet, and also we have an actual dating site for fans named "geek me more" so it's not unusual to see couples buying toys and cosplaying together but I was wondering if it would be the same in the USA?

[Bradsdadg]

I am lucky in the sense that my wife and 9 year old son are all in on the collecting with me. At least when it comes to TMNT figures and the hunt I go on in stores to complete the collection I have a few other things here and there that I get and it is never a problem with them. I do sometimes get the "look" from people when I go on a toy hunt by myself. So having my boy along with me is an extra bonus lol

[Serious Lee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goldengreg

Regarding this topic, I have a question: does american fans use to date together?
Is it possible to find a girlfriend in Comic-con or places like that?
In France, we have several manga/comics events where we have places for people to meet, and also we have an actual dating site for fans named "geek me more" so it's not unusual to see couples buying toys and cosplaying together but I was wondering if it would be the same in the USA?

I'm pretty sure I've seen things like this in North America, albeit not up close and personally. It does sound like a very familiar concept, and like I said I'm 99%. sure that I'd seen this advertised somewhere, but I can't put my finger on where, maybe it was a tv show.

I've never had any problems from a girlfriend about collecting, and I had even got one started in the fun, she was mad about the Warcraft figs. My girl now, of nearly 4 years has been nothing but supportive, like others have mentioned, goes through the toy aisle when out shopping and monitors my eBay account when I've been out bid and is genuinely happy when she sees me with my stuff.

My best advice on finding a gal like mine? Be who you are all the time, if you're a positive person and isn't committing crimes the right person will find you, I know, corny, but I'm 41, and it wasn't until I relaxed about what other people thought, that things started working out better for me.

My apologies if that was soap box crapolla, but it's what I believe

[Andrew77]

I don't know much about this but me and my wife love to build ship model kits. This is our hobby and we enjoy this.

[ghostbogey]

A girl dated me to get my Godzilla Sofubi!!!hahaha

[JkrSmkrMdntTkr]

The thing people need to understand is that collecting toys as an adult IS weird. Just accept that. In reality, there's no real difference between collecting kid's toys, gaming your life away, obsessively fanning out over a sports team, getting all goofy over shoes, restoring classic cars/bikes and on and on... It's just that walking into some grown-ass man's home and finding toys reverently displayed all over the joint is often creepy and always dorky. There's just a lot that smells childish and obsessive about it to outsiders. Childishness is never sexy, and obsession is always creepy. You will be judged for it, and rightfully so. It's what humans do. That's a fact, deal with it.

Me personally, I've interacted enough with adult toy collectors over the past 2 decades to know that a huge number of you are people I don't like online and definitely wouldn't interact with in real life. Overly whiny, prone to ridiculous hyperbole ("they raped my childhood!"), childishly argumentative, often misogynistic and racist, out of touch with reality, socially awkward... So I totally get why someone would steer clear. That said, there are also many adults who collect toys who don't act that way, keep things in perspective, have their financial shit together, take care of their responsibilities and obligations, and are just all-around really good people. Point is, we're aberrations regardless of who we are as people because of this hobby, and there are consequences to that. You will be judged for it, right or wrong, and that's that.

[deecee4]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frank Richards

Granted, the novelty of this hobby seems to wear thin quickly once I enter into any sort of relationship. At that point, most girls get sick of the hobby quickly, especially after learning about the time and money involved. I've never had any girls try to "change" me, but at that point they are basically just tolerating my hobby the same way the girlfriend of a huge sports fan has to tolerate that equally obsessive hobby.

Yeah man, that aptly sums up to a t how it is for me with collecting and relationships.

[JCarterVA]

Quote:

Originally Posted by malicemizer

Hi super random but as someone who just started collecting toys I was wondering how often any of you come across this.

I recently went out on a date and randomly started talking about hobbies. I said I started collecting toys and she freaked out. She said, "wow thats weird, thats what little kids do not adults". I really was shocked at her response. I am at the point in my life (almost 29 years old)where I dont have to explain myself to anyone. If I like collecting toys I will collect toys and whatever else I want. I will not be calling her back but am afraid more women will find it "weird". Maybe it was just her but I hope more women are not as closed minded as her.

What is everyone's experience with this matter?

I have been engaged to the woman of my dreams for nearly 3 months. I was scared to death about showing her my toys, comics, artwork, graphic novels. She loves me. She accepts me. She accepts me as a collector. I have helped her find out about collecting. I bough her Harry Potter Legos and she discovered she loved building them. She loved Bumblebee from Transformers and I bought her Bumblebee figures. She loves them. Find the woman that loves you for being you. Find the person that makes you complete. Find the person that can bring you up when you are down and you do the same for them. Find the person you can laugh with. Find the person you can be honest with. Find the person the moves your emotions. Find the person that all the corny love songs make sense. Find the person who wants to be with the real you. I love my Anna with my heart, mind and soul. Neither she nor I are perfect but we are perfect for each other

[0reser0]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JkrSmkrMdntTkr

The thing people need to understand is that collecting toys as an adult IS weird. Just accept that. In reality, there's no real difference between collecting kid's toys, gaming your life away, obsessively fanning out over a sports team, getting all goofy over shoes, restoring classic cars/bikes and on and on... It's just that walking into some grown-ass man's home and finding toys reverently displayed all over the joint is often creepy and always dorky. There's just a lot that smells childish and obsessive about it to outsiders. Childishness is never sexy, and obsession is always creepy. You will be judged for it, and rightfully so. It's what humans do. That's a fact, deal with it.

Finally, someone who doesn't sugarcoat the facts of collecting toys. Toys are toys, people.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JkrSmkrMdntTkr

Me personally, I've interacted enough with adult toy collectors over the past 2 decades to know that a huge number of you are people I don't like online and definitely wouldn't interact with in real life. Overly whiny, prone to ridiculous hyperbole ("they raped my childhood!"), childishly argumentative, often misogynistic and racist, out of touch with reality, socially awkward... So I totally get why someone would steer clear.

This reminds me of a time before the lockdown when this group of five adults were sitting across my table in a fancy restaurant and they were arguing loudly about Power Rangers and its toys of all things. I couldn't help laughing softly at the stupidity I have witnessed back then.

[webz]

Everyone is weird. EVERYONE. No one is "perfectly normal". It's the people you THINK are perfectly normal are the ones who are arrested with bodies in the crawlspace or booked for molesting boyscouts.

That aside, there are people who think collecting anything is weird. Others it's totally normal. I'm in my 40's. I work with fellow "nerds" and "geeks" and it's perfectly fine. My stepdaughter is an anime-geek (imho the worst type of geek!). My wife is supportive of my geeky habits coz it's better than being a drunk or sleeping around. We get along very well. 6 years we've been married and never had a fight.

I used to try to please everyone. Snooty "friends", ex-wife, ex-inlaws. Tried to be someone I was not. Tried to please a "spoiled princess." It was 14 years of anxiety, abuse, tremendous stress, and overall horrible segment of my life. I'm glad for my children, but I wouldn't wish the rest of it on anyone.

Don't try to hide or "sugar coat" being a geek. Especially if you are looking for a long term relationship. Best case, find someone who's crazy matches your crazy. There are LOTS of female geeks out there. Be open to meet lots of people. Go to nerdy gatherings. Looking for "Mrs Right" is often a good way to find "Mrs Wrong." The best person for you will be found when you are least trying. I met my new wife when a bunch of friends wanted to get together for karaoke. Never thought in a million years I was going to meet my future spouse.

As it is... I know a group of geeks is horrible. As I said, I work with geeks and try my best to stay out of conversations of a geeky nature. Everyone I work with is half my age, so thankfully most of the time I'm out of the loop. Only thing worse than a gathering of nerds is a gathering of former jocks.