[quinten182]

(Reposted this here because I wasted way too much time typing it up. :P)

My Mostly True, Almost Spot-On, Barely Changed, Real Life Toy Hunting Story

Staring at the floor, as I typically do when I'm impatient, was the only thing I could do. I was hoping the seconds would feel less like the hours they always did while I waited. I shuffled my feet and wondered about the new strings I'd put on my shoes a few days ago. There's no way they'd stay this clean through the summer.

The snapping sounds of footsteps against the hard floors had me as alert as a lioness protecting her cubs at the sound of a rustle in a nearby brush. I'd sent the random worker into the depths of the stockroom in search of treasure. Every nearby sound had me biting my lip in anticipation of his return, but this was it, I was actually in the moment. This was no ordinary moment either, this particular event was shaping up to be the journey-ender, the icing on the cake, the whole shebang! The young gentleman, no older than 18, no bigger than 120 pounds, was cautiously walking so as not to drop the three sealed packages in tow. His cargo was nearly as big as his own wiry frame. As he shuffled over to where I was standing, I anxiously took small steps toward him as well. I'm not sure if my advances towards him were those of care for his personal well being, or that of the packages he held. It mattered none at this special moment, as I was mere seconds away from taking home the golden goose. His small body slumped over as he released the boxes at my feet. His panting and short breaths made his next sentence difficult to make out, but I deciphered something about a box cutter. I smiled and smugly chuckled to myself as I quickly and smoothly cut the tape that bound the box together using nothing but my fingernail and precise finger sliding. The kid blinked a few time in rapid succession and swallowed before whispering, "you've done this before.."

I placed my hands on the box flaps, poised to pull them open as if they were the gates to the kingdom of heaven. I closed my eyes as the new smell of cardboard and plastic filled my nostrils and slowly pulled back the cardboard prison that held my treasure.

Before I could even open this container of dreams, my eyes opened ever so slightly and caught movement of the horrific creature. It was here. The cunning and slither-like maneuvers it made almost had me fooled that my eyes were playing tricks on me, but I knew better. My right hand slowly made its way to my belt buckle as the left placed its index finger over my mouth as a clear gesture to the wiry stockroom hero to not move and not say a word. Unfortunately, it wasn't as clear as I'd believed.

"Today is the street date for all three of those sets.." he squeakily whispered to me.

I bit my lower lip and my eyes closed. I knew it was too late. Before my eyes could even reopen the box beneath my hands had vanished and my left hand was bracing my fall. My eyes blinked quickly as I tried to focus on where the creature had gone. My right hand had already removed the buckle from my belt, but it would take a few more second before it'd be ready to use.

I rapidly scanned the nearby aisles for the residual trail of the creature. My buckle had almost fully formed into my crossblade when I felt the cold on my pant leg. My eyes flickered down then back up to see what was going on, but not to break concentration on the movement amongst the aisles. Blood, my pant leg was becoming increasingly soaked in human blood. For a split second I had to question if I'd been hit, but I knew of nothing that could move quickly enough to snag my loot from beneath me as well as connect with an attack. That's when I figured it out and suddenly wished I actually had been hit instead. Oh, stockroom hero, how could they?

I channeled the mixture of pity and rage into my sidearm heave of my crossblade. The sound of metal being ripped in two as it tore through the aisles of ipod accessories on my left was just enough to make the creature move. "Got ya." I said aloud to myself.

I sprung to my feet and sprinted towards the DVD new release section as the shadowy creature crawled along the back aisle. My crossblade had just returned to my hand as I passed the $5 movies. I couldn't help but notice that some of the selections were currently on sale for $3.99 and used my free hand to grab Crocodile Dundee. I leaped on top of the glass counter and peered over the top of the adjacent aisles. There it was, treasure in tow, sprinting towards the main aisle, where he'd be home free to checkout. I had one shot at this throw, but it'd be banking on the fact that Target had setup the seasonal baby cribs on the outside of G13. This was a long shot for the ricochet toss I knew, as Target was rarely on time with stock, let alone entire remodels. I took a deep breath and lined up the toss. There was no way I was leaving without my variants and I let the creature know in a loud bellowing call, "You're mine you Scalper scum!"