[kylactus]

He would resurrect his mother, warp time so as to avoid his tragic death, thus sparing all the needless bloodshed, regularly attend special education classes, eventually (and ironically) leading to duel degrees in criminal justice and anger counseling. He then climbs the rungs of our judicial system until finally becoming the first mentally challenged supreme court justice in the united states. The first case he hears is "Tommy Jarvis v.s. General Latex corp." on the grounds of damages caused by an inferior flammable mask rubber that lead to Mr. Jarvis being (in a twist of unforeseen irony) hideously disfigured and becoming a rage filled serial killer who covers his twisted form with... get this, A HOCKEY MASK!!!!!. Justice Voorhees awards Mr. Jarvis's victims an unprecedented one trillion-quagillion dollars and unlimited passes for pony rides... he is after all mentally challenged.

Note: the award will likely be negotiated into a more realistic number by appellant court judges.