[Thor Laserpunch]

I’m still bitter to this day that we not only forgave but actually praised both Hasbro and Mezco for giving us smoking goggle options for Cyclops. HIS JONKS IZ CONCUSSIVE AND PRODUCES NO HEAT. We toyfolk are such basic bitches. No wonder the action figure barons laugh and sneer down at us from the lofty ramparts of their toy citadels.

Toyfolk of the world—REVOLT!! Cast out the oppressors! Let’s go back to making toys out of sticks and maybe we can even do those faceless Amish folk art dolls or something! Marvel Matruschkas!

Thursday is now a mushroom night. Sorry.