[Brownfinger]

I'm not going to pretend I know you, but I wish you strength in trudging through the memory of those difficult times. I'm sorry for your troubles, that sounds like a harrowing journey. I hope you find peace along your path.
I'm envious of people who have family they can be close to, I never had that kind of support. I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father, a monster of a person who is as brazen with his racist attitudes as he is with his contempt towards women. Any marginalized group, believe me, he hates all of them. He's very open about all of it, growing up around hate of that magnitude was a frightening and traumatic experience. My mom thought she couldn't raise my brother and I alone, she felt trapped. He often berated and threatened me, and in this vile sack of shit I saw the blue print for what not to be. There are probably layers of psychological damage to peel away on some therapist's couch some day, and we all have our vices to keep us sane. It's been liberating to simply make my environment a product of me in a positive fashion.
The result is that everything I am now is in opposition to what he stood for. Love and charitable spirit are at the center of my life, and those things have shaped the adult I've become. I moved away from religion and started thinking on a broader scale, discarding smaller complacency in favor of a desire for deeper scientific knowledge and understanding of the universe. It has shaped many of my interests, and hopefully my career path.
Ultimately, we can let our baggage ruin us or help define us while we seek to improve as humans. I cherish the opportunity to be the better example that I want to see reflected in others. So I embrace that chance with every new day, while recognizing that not everyone is so fortunate.