[Dr Kain]

Once Upon A Time in Mexico - What the freaking hell was that? Like what did I just watch??? I thought I was going to be watching the third movie around the Mariachi. Instead, I get some convoluted crap dealing with FBI agents, CIA agents, a presidential assassination, a revolt, another guy who might be financing the revolt but wants to stop the revolter from taking over the country so he can take it over or some crap like that. Random people show up, random people die. Johnny Depp plays Johnny Depp and then loses his eyes but walks it off 3 seconds later.



Oh yeah, the Mariachi is in there somewhere, but instead of continuing the great chemistry between Banderas and Hayek, she was killed before the movie even started and we get a few flashbacks every now and then leading up to her death. WHAT???? Gone is all of the unique camerawork, the slow build ups leading to an action scene, and pacing. Gone is the style and there is no substance to make up for it. Worst of all, it's just fucking boring!!!! How the hell did we go from Desperado to this?????? Why did they give Rodriguez a budget? He was better off without it. Oh, and Danny Trejo and Cheech Marin somehow survived just to die again. Trejo's death in the previous movie was hilarious. Here, it was pointless.