Green Guardsman: Man in Armor or Gigolo?
 

my brother bought me this 3 3/4 inch green Guardsman today, he knows i've been eyeing this guy for some while now, and thought he would be a good army building figure (more often than not in-fiction, several units of this armor are used to guard super villains on the Raft--the marvel comics jail for baddies). but when i actually got to playing with the guy i came across some stuff that now makes me glad i got this as a gift.


http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._6210941_n.jpghttp://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._8002649_n.jpg

first off i want to talk about the sculpt of this thing. the muscles on this guy are totally pronounced, and from the upper torso looking down all it's all good.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-...6_360975_n.jpg


what throws you off is the ball swivels on the hips, a common detail that is seamless in most of the figures on this line except this one, based solely on the fact that the other armors in the line are--by design-- mechanical looking, one could say that this guy would have benefited more--sculpt-wise with more Marvel Universe styled hip articulation.


let's segway that into my next point: does this look like a man in armor?


http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-...7_243504_n.jpg

well...


http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._1689824_n.jpg

i...


http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._1027134_n.jpg

er...

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._4551845_n.jpg


...okay NO. he looks like some fruity male exotic dancer in a green thong. i cannot get that image out of my head. (just think of him like a wrestler, just think of him like a wrestler, just think of him like a wrestler...)


i mean compare him with Classic Iron Man.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._6421017_n.jpg


at least Classic IM makes an attempt to make himself appear like a guy in a body suit.

in defense of the character, he's comic accurate at least. though personally i wouldn't mind seeing a modern rendition of the armor. one that isn't so... well toned. with rock-hard abs...

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._1102181_n.jpg


ARGH.

okay speaking of how well sculpted he is one needs to ask what the designer had in mind while designing this guy. the articulation placement on this figure is not as smooth or integrated like other figures and in fact i consider it a sort of throwback in design.

70% of the normal articulation points are there, from the torso swivel that swings from the midsection, the swing-hinge elbows, double jointed knees. so far so good right?

but get to the extremities, like the forearm and calves, there's your problem aesthetically. see the thing is that they took a well sculpted arm/leg sliced off the forearm/calf, popped a joint in the middle and replaced them to their original positions. "why is this a problem?" you might ask. just look at the images below:

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._6398049_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._2776824_n.jpg


see how it breaks up the sculpt in a rather ugly manner? i mean his limb muscles are cut off completely. though it helps that from the point of articulation up to the hands/feet are painted a different green, to emphasize them as gloves/boots, they could have at least made them look like gloves or boots in form as parts of an armor and not skin-tight like say surgeon's gloves or rain booties.



http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._7089193_n.jpg
^on a side note, his feet lack the regular hinge-swivel assembly and instead go back to the full hinge type of joint.

so what am i trying to tell you here?


http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-...6_238468_n.jpg

the guardsman figure passes the sculpting phase but the placement or rather choice of articulation leave room for improvement. paintwise he seems okay. most of the comic figures are, and he's only 2 shades of green anyway so it's very glossy and smooth and while some completists out there may need this fig to round out their collection, unless you know who this is as a character i suggest you skip this guy. he's visually appealing yes, but unconvincing in my eyes as an armored adversary/ mass-produced and de-powered iron man unit. he just looks like a bodybuilder in a thong and helmet who painted himself green, in an attempt to look like a sexy, sexy Hulk.

6 out of 10.


Eisen 2010

Thank you........................this just made my week :)

Post of the year, my friend. Well played.

LOL, I laughed, I cried. Keep writing this stuff, eisen!

I'm still getting him tho...lol.

haha thanks dudes, i'm getting at least 2 more of these. despite what i said, until the SHIELD agents go on single cards, they make good replacements :)

I lol'd throughout this whole thing.

Man, I was really looking forward to this figure too...

well i still recommend the guy, but only to fellow collectors familiar with him i know despite all the flaws pointed out he's still the only one of his mold out there. and that alone is enough initiative to us to buy him ;)

Heh. I do like Guardsman, and I may still buy one. Don't need an army though... I have enough of the generics in Heroclix...

yeah, when I first heard of this figure from NYTF coverage I was excited because I always liked the guardsmen but once I say pictures I began disliking him. And with more pictures and reviews since, he has pretty much been crossed off the list. If I was any good at customizing I would get him for the head and paint up a new, albeit not so sexy, body.

Hilarious review by the way.

hahahaha oooohhh wow this was great

i think he would have worked, just needs wider gloves, boots so as not to look like they were sliced off the body and have the dark green chest armor and codpiece sculpted on and not just painted.

Lol I think I'm gonna get this guy and then have Ironman v Guardsman and make it look like Ironman is about to snap off Guardman's ankle.

TAP OUT GUARDSMAN TAP OUT

He's just too damn sexy for my shelf.:D


Seriously though, the fact he has absolutly nothing other than the helmet showing that it's armor is a big turn off for me, ah well. Painted details suck enough when it's done minimally....but this much?!?


Yeah....no thanks.:(