Comedy Spotlight on Cobra Commander
 

Career-Minded Dictators, Part I: Cobra Commander.

Dr. Doom. Sinestro. Megatron. Darth Vader. And as always, Cobra Commander. You think I might have a semi-fascination with fictional dictators? What does that say about me? Should I tell my therapist?

So, aside from that, the world has an important date coming up shortly: August 7th, 2009- the release of the live action film, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. And who’s going to be a part of that? You guessed it! Our most lovable Cobra Commander, henceforth referred to as CC.

In celebration of CC, I wanted to wax nostalgic on the character and my fond memories of him. I may be around the same age as you the reader (or maybe a bit older), so you will probably be familiar with my accounts, but in any event, let’s take a fun trip down memory lane.

As with most, the first time I ever saw CC was on that silly cartoon in the 80’s produced by Sunbow. And that VOICE- sweet Jesus, that rocked. From memory, I know it was Chris somebody, the same dude who voiced Starscream for the Transformers. A high pitched, perfectly pronounced screeching of fascism and outright cowardice, which made CC all the more lovable. Visually, this guy had a great gimmick- the secrecy of the face. After all, if you want to keep people coming back for more, always put the guy with a secret out there to taunt the audience into wanting to know the secret to a greater capacity, then never showing it. Of course, this would eventually be shown, but all in due time.

You know what made CC really special? Quite simple, actually. He was a Bitch. A very enjoyable, theatrical, maniacal grade A Bitch. Even the Baroness couldn’t touch him in his bitchiness. And it was a holy bitchiness, the stuff pompous upper echelon people are made of. Seriously, what is the difference between CC and Amadeus? Not much, other than one ruled a piano and the other one a worldwide criminal organization, but both were bitches. Brilliant egotistical bitches. And I love em!

Prior to the official unmasking, we did have that short little interlude where Destro walked in on CC whilst dining and was thoroughly disgusted. So really, what does that tell you? That CC is butt ugly? And then came the bane of every Joe Fan’s existence: GI Joe: The movie. Now, most people tried to block this flick out of their memories, but I for one loved it. LOVED IT. Make sure you understand that. I loved Cobrala. I loved the whole CC origin story. And I very possibly might have “once was a man” tattooed on me in some inconspicuous spot of flesh. One of the ironic things about CC with his newly found relationship to Roadblock was that, in one of the very first episodes, it was Roadblock who arrested CC and damn near pimp slapped him into a cell.

Now, call me crass, but I don’t like Serpentor. Idea was cool, execution was cool, but he was like….the bully on the playground that didn’t deserve to lead Cobra. Yeah, he got cred from all the people he was made from, i.e. Genghis Khan, Alexander, Vlad The Impaler, etc, but man CC totally deserved to have at least one crushing blow to the Joes to show up Mr. Test Tube Baby. At least CC earned his glory by being a brilliant scientist with an experiment gone wrong ala Lex Luthor without any genetic tampering. CC was born evil! YEAH! Of course, I won’t go into that whole car salesman thing from the comic. I’m sure it was great, but my allowance was limited and couldn’t afford both comics and toys.

So then we come to a turning point for CC and Joe itself: the post movie DIC series, which I recently watched all the episodes of. Quite a shadow of its former self, the DIC series lacked the seriousness (even for a cartoon) and cohesiveness that was generally found in the Sunbow series. However, if there is one thing we can take from the DIC Series, it was that awesome new battle armor that CC was upgraded with. To this day, that has remained my favorite version of CC, both visually and in toy form. Yes, most people refer back to the helmeted/hooded version, but DAMN that suit was cool. It really rocked my world! A hint of silver, hint of blue, total badass….I pity the Joe who messed with him now. And as a side bonus, we got to see Serpentor get his butt kicked off the throne as well. That’s the way, uh huh uh huh, I LIKE IT. So when the Joe 25th anniversary figure line came out, I was freaking when I found out the Battle Armor version was going to be released. From the time it officially became available to the time I got it in my hands, it was a good month and a half. Tons of gas spent on searching for him. I rivaled Batman in my detectiveness. At that point, it was my only mission in life. GET THE BATTLE ARMOR VERSION. And I did. Got two, in fact. One to open, one to save and display.

Years came and went regarding Joe lore. Quite frankly, I’ve got no idea what happened in those years. Probably the same stories being retold over and over again with the same players in different genres. I never really followed Joe after the Animated Movie, and it wasn’t until the Anniversary line came out that I rekindled any kind of interest in the Joes at all. But when I heard about the live action movie being made, my interest subsequently peaked. Of course, the question begged to be asked (considering the changes the Transformers got handed to them in the live action arena) “what was CC gonna be like?”

When I first saw the revamped CC, my jaw basically hit the floor. Was this some fanboy’s idea of a cruel joke? I happened to catch a leaked photo on the Toyark from its sister site, HissTank. This CC was….I don’t even know how to describe it other than “different”. I hated it. I LOATHED it. But somehow, in all my loathing, I grew a fondness for it. I mean, the sliver mask was completely gone. They didn’t even bother with the hooded version either. WTF is this world coming to? But I studied the photo some more (fortunately, I saved the photo before Hasbro asked HissTank to take it down.) and became acquainted with it. I’ve already studied up on his role in the movie, for which I understand is going to be very short but pivotal, so I’m all spoiled for it but still can’t wait to see it on the big screen. Finally, CC made the big time, like Vader, Doom, and Megatron prior.

And thus concludes my love for CC in written form. Please enjoy my little ode to CC pictures.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...dSerpentor.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...ry8-2-2009.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...zeek/RoCCC.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...obralegion.jpg

CC's voice was also the same as Cravex, from the Visionaries cartoon!

CC was a bitch-ass, but a cool bitch-ass!

I hate Serpentor also!

I love the story, and await Part II!

Nice. Battle Armor CC was one of my favorites, and like yourself, hunted his 25th version down like crazy.

CC has always been one of my favorite villains and I will echo the battle armored CC as my favorite version. The 25th Anniversary release was one of my most anticipated figures from that whole line.

Oh, and he was voice by the late, great Chris Latta.