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-   General Discussion (https://www.toyark.com/forums/general-discussion/)
-   -   Okay so I need some advice (https://www.toyark.com/forums/okay-so-i-need-some-advice-70230/)

RexLewis85 10-03-2011 02:49 PM

Okay so I need some advice
 
This kind of fits in marvel discussion, and kind of doesn't...so I opted to post it here. Now how to begin...I have recently started collecting Marvel Universe figures as I've told you guys in other posts. Now, my fiancee doesn't know about it. She knows I collect Batman stuff and horror stuff, but I haven't told her about MU yet...I suppose mainly because she'll think i've been spending alot of money on it(I haven't...it's been by trade). Now she was very understanding about my other collections...even thought they were neat. But regardless i'm still nervous about telling her that i'm collecting yet ANOTHER line of figures. So I guess what I want to know is, how would be the best way to go about telling her?

vampireheart 10-03-2011 02:55 PM

Up front man, but it seems that if you're worried about telling her it may be because you know that deep down it may end up being alot of money spent on this line, It gets very expensive, very quickly if you're not careful or patient. In a relationship honesty is key my fiance knows about my habits but as long as I'm not blowing the mortgage/food money on toys or other cool stuff then everything is great. You just gotta know your limits and stick to them. Good Luck man.

D00MTR0N 10-03-2011 02:57 PM

be up front,its the only way.

Tyjos Azari 10-03-2011 03:31 PM

Yeah gotta go Up Front dude, don't wanna piss her off if you're buying behind her back....hey if it works have her set a limit on how much you can buy.

BlackMagnus 10-03-2011 07:16 PM

Tell her now. You will NEVER hear the end of it. Think about it like this, would you want her to do the same thing to you? If she is cool with collecting certain things, there should be no reason why not to tell her. Do you guys share finances?

Tiberius 10-03-2011 07:18 PM

If she really loves it, it wouldn't matter. Seeing you happy with plastic crack should make her happy, and what ever she does as a hobby makes you happy, because it makes her happy. So best to tell her, she will only find out laturrrr.

thechris 10-03-2011 07:26 PM

Just tell her casually. If you don't make a big deal out of it, she probably won't either. In fact, just bring it up casually when you get new figures. Say that you just got some Marvel figures in that you're going to put up on your shelf or whatever. Don't be all like, "Gosh, I've done a bad thing and yadda yadda." and I'm sure she'll just not think anything of it.

DogFashionDisco 10-03-2011 07:50 PM

Not that you necessarily have to justify your hobby, but I would tell her about it and explain that it isn't a financial burden (as long as that's the truth). A nice dinner while you tell her this wouldn't hurt either.

RexLewis85 10-03-2011 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackMagnus (Post 170927)
Tell her now. You will NEVER hear the end of it. Think about it like this, would you want her to do the same thing to you? If she is cool with collecting certain things, there should be no reason why not to tell her. Do you guys share finances?

Not yet we don't, as I've said in a couple other posts we don't even live together yet. That won't be happening until early next year. I just don't want her to think that i'm not trying my hardest to save for when that time comes. We want to be able to pay for everything that comes with moving in together, and we don't want to have to struggle. I am putting money away, I don't want you guys to think I'm spending everything on MU figures, because i'm not. Like I said, after a point, i'm going to stop actively collecting for a little while. I may pick something up here and there if I see it in stores, but I won't be shelling out any serious cash on the hobby until I've bought christmas presents and then later when we're moved in together and comfortable. I gotta get the X Force 3 pack, and i'll probably get the new wave because for once I actually like every figure in it(except for maybe the Iron man...Iron Man figures are a dime a dozen as far as I'm concerned). But yeah...I understand my limitations, and I think rather than tell her on the phone, I'm gonna wait till she's over at my place and just show them to her...the way I did with the other stuff I've got. She's always upfront with me about things, so you guys are right, there's no reason why I shouldn't be the same for her.

DogFashionDisco 10-03-2011 09:06 PM

For some reason a few people I work with collect guns and talk nonstop about them, but one guy got in a lot of trouble because he recently got married and his wife started finding guns hidden around the house. Needless to say, if you're just collecting toys, that is by far less fucked up than collecting and randomly stashing weapons throughout your home.

behindthemask 10-03-2011 09:37 PM

Honestly my gf loves and hates my collection, but I got so many that when I get more I add them to the rest and nobody's the wiser, my bills get paid and I'm able to supply : heat,food,and shelter and keep a steady paying job, so to be honest the last thing she cares about is that I found a blue iron man figure. As long as I don't spend the rent $$ she's fine. And frankly that's how I'd be, buy what you love and don't let anybody judge you or stop you, but know your limits both in scale of collection, financially and hunting. and they're little guys they don't take up a lot of space. :) If we're out shopping I check out the toys and I'll buy toys with her there, but it's not bags full usually 1-2 max, if I want more I'll go on a hunt on 1 of my days off... frankly as long as your budgeting for rent,food,transportation costs, cellphone,cable etc, and have some money on the side to entertain yourself and her, because even though you paid the bills if you spent your last $50 on toys instead of dinner and a movie with her you may not hear the end lol.

Fortune 10-04-2011 12:12 AM

Just tell her straight up dont beat around it. Just be open and honest. I alway bring up everything I get in to my wife. She has thus far been amazingly understanding. I bring it up before doing it and a couple times after. Wouldnt want my girl leaving me cuz my collecting habits. That would be just awful Id think.

behindthemask 10-04-2011 01:07 AM

Put it this way if you feel guilty buying them or feel the need to share your new found love/ collection then so be it, tell her I'm done collecting my other lines as no new merch is available looking to fill the void with a cheap small toy line, if its a problem let me know, if not visa here I come lol. To each there own, my gf just doesn't share a love to it like I do so I don't address every purchase or need justification in my purchase, because if I asked for permission I'd never get toys.

Boba Fettuccini 10-04-2011 01:19 AM

Be honest and open about it always. Tell her when you've bought something, tell her when you've made a trade, tell her when you're expecting packages... my family flipped because Id get ebay items in the mail every other day or so n stuff... just be honest always.


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